BURGER OFF, MCBASTARDS! - Jerry Ross


The McLibel trial may now be over, but that's no reason to eat bad food and harm the Mother. Jerry Ross reports with attitude.

From time to time, ordinary people emerge as heroes worthy of our admiration for their commitment, dedication and principles in pursing (often against all the odds) righteous crusades against ignorance, injustice, lies and apathy.

David Morris and Helen Steel are two such people, who took on a powerful multi-national corporation with nothing more than their own time, energy, determination and intelligence. The establishment might record their names as environmentalists who took on the greed-head bad food empire McDonnell's and lost (though it was a hollow and costly victory). But the passage of time will hopefully link their names with the beginning of the end for the company itself.

In 1986 Dave and Helen, with other members of a group called London Green peace (no connection with Green peace International) leafleted customers outside branches in London. The leaflets (entitled "What's Wrong with McDonnell's? What they don't want you to know...") told of some of the company's alleged business practices and urged people not to eat there.

The leaflets made seven specific claims:

1.McBastards is partly responsible for hunger in the Third World
2.McBastards is responsible for destroying vast areas of rain forest in Central America
3.McBastards food is unhealthy
4.McBastards lied when they claimed to use recycled paper in their packaging
5.McBastards exploit children with their marketing and advertising
6.McBastards treat their animals cruelly
7.McBastards treat their employees badly
Unsurprisingly, McBastards were less than delighted that sensible people might sensibly decide to take their cash elsewhere and buy something sensible with it. With an over-the-top attitude typical of greed-heads they swung into action. Amongst other things - which one might expect in a spy novel, but hardly in suburban London - they consulted Special Branch about the campaigners and hired private investigators to infiltrate London Greenpeace to find out who was responsible for producing the leaflets. This turned into something of a farce when one of the investigators decided that there was more to the members of London Greenpeace than beards and open-toed sandals and ended up switching camps, having formed a relationship with one of the campaigners! Presumably, this only served to upset McBastards even more who slapped writs on five protesters. Three went to court and apologised. Dave and Helen rightly, and bravely, told Ronald and Co. to burger right off.

It's very likely that McBastards couldn't have anticipated this. After all, a company which thinks the entire world wants "convenience" may have thought that Dave Morris and Helen Steel would take the convenient option of apologising and stopping their campaign. Then the libel action would have been dropped and everybody might have been happy.

But the consciences of committed environmentalists can be darned inconvenient things; things that greed-head executives of bad food multinationals can never fathom. And Morris and Steel are that most dangerous of breeds - determined people with nothing to lose. The scene was set for what became the longest running civil trial in British legal history.

It's worth pausing here to examine how libel trials are conducted in the UK. Unlike the US., where the pursuer has to prove that the defendant's claims are false, here the defendant has to prove that their claims are true.

This means that Dave and Helen had to find evidence and witnesses to prove their leaflets told the truth. The Court can order that information must be disclosed by one side to the other - so, for example, Helen and Dave could have forced McBastards to provide information about their waste recycling to try to prove their point (see no. 4 above). But think about it: how likely is it that anyone would just hand over evidence to prove that their opponents are correct? Not very likely. (I could have said "about as likely as finding a branch of McBastards in a hospital" but there actually is one in London!)

And if that weren't bad enough, there is no legal aid available to assist people defending actions for libel in the UK. So Dave and Helen had to undertake all their own research, seek out and interview their own expert witnesses, represent themselves in court and generally take seven years out of their lives to fight the case. Their only assistance came from donations, which offset their research costs, and from caring lawyers, including Keir Starmer QC, who gave them his advice for nothing.

Meanwhile, McBastards (which, with a turnover of $32 billion, can afford more lawyers than there are lawyers to afford) employed a top QC and an entire firm of solicitors to prepare the case against these two ordinary people. It is estimated that their legal costs to prepare for and run the three year trial amounted to £10 million (or, put another way, 5.5 million Big Craps. Sorry, Macs).

Now just stop and think for a minute. On one side we have an enormously powerful trans-national company with almost as much money and power as the oil-rich African state of Nigeria. On the other side, we have two environmental campaigners and a bunch of leaflets. This is real fly-on-elephant's-arse stuff, and no mistake. Great Caesar's Ghost! - why on earth spend serious amounts of time, effort and moolah (£10 million!!!) to drag these people through court? After all, even if McBastards won, what could they do? They couldn't extract damages or even cover their costs from the virtually penniless Dave and Helen, whose joint income is around £7,500 a year, that's for sure.

Could it be that McBastards truly believed that all the campaigners' claims were false and wanted to set the record straight once and for all? Certainly, that's what they'd have us believe. But that cannot be true because the court did not agree, and found that some of Dave and Helen's allegations were indeed true.

Or is it that they knew perfectly well that some or all of the claims were correct and that the company would suffer if these facts became widely known? If this is the case then McBastards were acting as nothing more than playground gangsters with enough dinner money to pay bullies to silence the protesters with the threat of legal action.

In the event, the trial commenced in Summer 1994 with the Judge, Lord Chief Justice Bell, showing a good deal of humanity in allowing Dave Morris to use his chambers when he had to bring his son to court and suspending business on school half-term holidays. Unfortunately, Richard Rampton QC, for McBastards, was less down-to-earth and objected strongly to Dave (a self-confessed anarchist with no particular respect for the pomp and ceremony of the courtroom) referring to him by his first name. "He'll be calling me Dickie next!" he complained to the Judge, as sniggers ran around the court.

Up until last month, when the judgement on the case was announced, you might have been forgiven for not knowing it was even in progress, since it was so under-reported in the media. In the UK. only the Guardian and the Observer made any real effort to follow the trial as it progressed (which in itself speaks volumes about which papers are worth reading). But the verdict itself was big news all over the world and a hollow victory for McBastards who have probably endured more deservedly bad publicity as a result than they have ever done in their history.

Although McBastards won the case and were awarded £60,000 damages (for which they promptly announced they would not pursue Helen and Dave for - nice public relations move, but we're not fooled!) this was but a fraction of the damages that they might have been awarded had their case been proved outright. In fact, the Judge decided that parts of the London Greenpeace leaflet told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

And don't forget that just because something is found untrue in court does not mean it's not actually true. It just wasn't proven true, and since one side spent £10,000,000 on its case and the other had no money of its own, it is hardly surprising. For example, McBastards cows are grazing at this very moment in areas of former rain forest in Brazil and Guatemala. Even McBastards don't deny this. But this isn't enough to successfully proved to a London court that McBastards caused the destruction of the rain forest.

Luckily, most Heads can add two plus two to make four! Many will feel it is wise to follow the "no smoke without fire" school of though and avoid this nasty company's outlets on the precautionary principle that, until proven otherwise, "once a McBastard, always a McBastard."

However, it is "Sand in McBastards' Vaseline" time; let's look at some of Justice Bell's findings which went against the crass corporation (chew on THESE, greed-heads!):

PROVEN FACT: McBastards are "culpably responsible" for cruelty to animals. They restrict the movement of laying hens, broiler chickens and pigs. They slit the throats of animals while they are still fully conscious. I need say not a word more.

PROVEN FACT: McBastards pays its workers low wages, helping to depress wages for workers in the catering trade. The Judge found that McBastards didn't specifically try to exploit disadvantaged groups but, er.. hang on a minute. Who would happily work for £3.05 an hour except disadvantaged people? Rocket Scientists? The Council of Europe, incidentally, sets a decent threshold of pay at a minimum of £5.88 per hour. Clearly, McBastards are far from a decent and ethical employer.

PROVEN FACT: McBastards exploit children by using them, as more susceptible subjects of advertising, to pressurise their parents into going to McBastards. The mechanism of this advertising is simple yet insidious; trap kids into believing they are not normal if they don't go there for bad food and free plastic toys. Dave Morris tellingly called they adverts "sermons of the modern religion of consumerism."

PROVEN FACT: Even though the claim that McBastards food is bad for you was found not true "if it is eaten occasionally", McBastards' nutritional claims for their products do not match reality (think about it! If eating a lot of salt and saturated fat-laden shit is going to harm you, why eat any of this shit at all???).

It is so easy to take a walk through your neighbourhood and forget that the McBastards on your High Street is only one of over 21,000 world-wide. Make no mistake. This is a fuck-off, seriously rich and very, very nasty corporation. It is the world's biggest buyer of beef from Moscow to Mogadishu (one in every 12 cows become a Big Mac) and is destroying the Mother at a bit of a clip by anyone's standards. Its vehicles travel 112,000 miles a week on Britain's roads, its UK stores produce 50 tons of waste packaging weekly (and that doesn't include what the feeble brains who actually eat this shit chuck away in the street!) and, most worryingly, 10 million people in the UK. every week are stupid enough to reward the company for their squalid environmental record by buying their products. They all deserve to barf on their burgers.

Yet compared with huge multi-national companies like General Motors, McBastards is still just a piss in the ocean. What next? Trans-nationals with their own armies? Territories? Nuclear weapons?

The only was to emasculate these greed-heads is to do it financially. Dave Morris and Helen Steel took seven years out of their lives to show the world that all is not good in Ronald McBastard's playhouse. Of course, not everybody has the commitment to do what these Heads did. But you know the facts. Now go and do the right thing for yourself and everybody else; skip McBastards and go eat some real food.